Who are you?

We have noticed that Parveen is not eager to speak her native language when she encounters people from Pakistan.  This is in sharp contrast to Oksana, who spoke Russian or Ukrainian as often as possible last year.  In fact, when we have been at Pakistani restaurants, and the waitstaff isn't understanding our English, it really would have been nice for Parveen to speak up once in a while and just speak Urdu.  But when you ask her, "Why won't you speak Urdu to them?"  She doesn't really have an answer.

I'm starting to wonder if part of the explanation is that, as long as she is speaking English, she can be the American version of herself, the person who she is here, in this school year, in our home.  As soon as she starts speaking like a Pakistani, the expectation to behave like a Pakistani and think like one arises.

And it's not limited to Parveen.  This dichotomy of behavior was obvious when we were in Chicago this weekend and went to a Moroccan restaurant.  It was really more of a small sandwich shop, and as we walked in to see four or five men watching soccer (in Spanish), Miriam transformed form a world-traveling, independent young woman, to a floor-staring, dependent, non-speaking female.   We asked Miriam to order our food for us, expecting her enjoy speaking Moroccan to the owner, but she seemed to prefer telling Audrey's Dad her suggestions, so that he could turn to the nearby store-owner and repeat her words.

And it makes me wonder if the independence and personal strength that the girls are developing will continue after they return home, or if they will return to a state of dependence and just following others without questioning.

I sincerely hope that their growth continues and that they learn how to safely integrate it into who they are "back home" because they are such fun, loving, and amazing girls.